Inspired Comforts

Find Your Freedom

“What to say / what NOT to say” pocket card

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Inspired Comforts Toolkit

For caregivers, friends, family. Print this. Cut it out. Keep it in your wallet for the moments when you don’t know what to say.

What to say

Acknowledgment
“This is a lot. I’m here.”

Specific offer
“I’m bringing dinner Wednesday at 6. What food are you avoiding right now?”

Permission
“You don’t have to be brave. You don’t have to be inspirational. You can just be you.”

Honesty
“I don’t know what to say. I just love you.”

Long-term
“I’m here next month. And the month after.”

Listening
“Tell me what you actually want to talk about today.”

What NOT to say

  • “At least it’s not [worse type of cancer / condition].”
  • “My friend’s friend’s wife had this and she’s fine now.”
  • “Stay positive!”
  • “You’ve got this!” / “You’re a fighter!”
  • “Have you tried [supplement, diet, alternative therapy]?”
  • “Everything happens for a reason.”
  • “Let me know if I can do anything” — too vague; offer something specific instead
By the Inspired Comforts editorial team · inspiredcomforts.com

For inspiration only. Customize for your situation. Always consult your medical team. Inspired Comforts is not a medical provider.

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