For 14 days you’re essentially their second arm. They can’t sleep flat, dress themselves above the waist, drive, or open a pill bottle. Your job: keep ahead of pain meds (set alarms), help with the sling on/off for showering, manage the ice machine schedule, prep food, and keep the house quiet. The first 5-7 days are the hardest. Below: a day-by-day script of what to expect and what to do.
Day 0 (surgery day)
You’ll bring them home around mid-afternoon. They’ll be groggy, the nerve block is still working (arm feels totally numb — that’s normal), and they may be nauseous from anesthesia. Your job:
- Get them set up in the recliner immediately — don’t try the bed
- Have water + saltines + ginger ale ready (anti-nausea)
- Set a phone alarm for the first pain med dose (when nerve block wears off — usually 12-18 hours post-op)
- Don’t have visitors. Let them sleep.
Day 1-2: nerve block wears off
This is the hardest 48 hours. Pain peaks. Your patient will be exhausted, in real pain, and may be emotional. Your job:
- Stay AHEAD of pain meds — set alarms, don’t wait until they ask
- Ice machine or ice packs on the shoulder 20 min on / 20 min off
- Help them up and to the bathroom (they’ll be unsteady)
- Manage all food + drink + medication delivery
- If they fall asleep, let them sleep — don’t insist on meals
Day 3: the first shower
Most surgeons clear shower at 48-72 hours. The first one is rough. Your job:
- Help them out of the sling (per surgeon’s instructions on whether sling stays on or off)
- Help them out of clothes
- Stay in the bathroom — they may need help with shampoo, body wash, drying
- Have a chair available outside the shower for them to sit on while drying
- Help them back into the sling and a button-front shirt
This is a 30-45 minute project. Plan for it. Don’t try it when they’re already exhausted.
Day 4-7: Settling in
Pain is decreasing but sleep is still bad. They’re tired, possibly cranky, and bored. Physical demands on you start tapering. Your job:
- Continue meal management
- Help with sling changes and showering
- Restock ice packs / change ice machine water
- Pick up prescriptions, run errands
- Drive them to the post-op appointment (usually around day 7-14)
Day 8-14: Independence returning
By day 8 most patients can dress themselves (in the right clothes), feed themselves, and manage their own meds. Your role shifts from hands-on to logistics. Your job:
- Drop in 2-3 times a day if you don’t live with them
- Stock fridge weekly
- Drive to PT appointments (they can’t drive yet)
- Be available for ‘I need help with…’ — usually shower-related or sling-related
What to NOT do
The conversation to have BEFORE surgery
Pre-op, sit down together and discuss:
- Who’s the primary caregiver (you), who’s backup
- What hours of help they expect; when you can step away
- How they want to be talked to when they’re in pain (some want quiet; some want distraction)
- How they’ll signal they need help (call, text, knock)
- What activities they want help thinking about (boredom mitigation matters)
Frequently Asked Questions
From the Inspired Comforts collection.
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Sources
- American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons — orthoinfo.aaos.org
- Family Caregiver Alliance — caregiver.org
